There are many paths that lead to the Family Caregiver Program. Some of them take a bit of a detour. But once on that path, life often takes a turn for the
better – for all concerned.
When their father passed in 2015, Michael brought his brother, Josh, who is 13 years younger, to live with him. Michael has kindly shared their journey* and examples of the life-changing choices that now benefit his family.
When my brother first came to live with me, his resource coordinator made us aware of the Family Caregiver Program. But we were mourning the loss of our father and felt we were doing OK otherwise. I was also apprehensive to go down the Family Caregiver road. I knew it would provide some much-needed income for his care but thought there would be strict requirements and that I would be under a microscope.
After knowing about the program for about two years, I finally investigated, got some names of different agencies and made some calls. Evergreen Service Providers called back quickly and I loved talking to Barbara. She was very clear and honest about what was expected and we set up an interview for my brother, Josh, to meet her.
I learned what my responsibilities would be, about the training required and certifications I’d need to complete, including CPR. Evergreen helped me fill out Josh’s paperwork for Medicaid and Medicare. I realized I had been apprehensive for no reason and was sad it took me so long to make this happen for my brother.
Evergreen is great about giving me constructive suggestions related to the state’s periodic inspections. They communicate in a positive way, never criticizing, just explaining what is expected.
I’ve become comfortable with the monthly responsibilities and reporting, including keeping up with his medical appointments and follow-up. Josh goes to day programs while I work and I’m home before he is.
We have developed expectations for Josh as well. One is that he does the laundry! We created a nine-point list of guidelines. He looks forward to it, knows what he needs to do, and takes pride in doing the laundry and keeping his room neat. This encourages me to be aware of opportunities for coaching him and helping him learn things like shaving with a razor, getting out his own clothing, and developing his own routine. This gives him a sense of independence and self-esteem.
Having Josh with me brings peace of mind about his well-being. My mindset is about doing what benefits him and trying to understand how he thinks –
sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t – but I understand that he thinks differently. That helps, when I need to address behaviors, to do so in a way that is explanatory rather than scolding him. I took him on vacation last year. It was his first time on an airplane, and he did great! It was amazing to see how successful he was traveling with me and I’m comfortable taking him with me now.
I would encourage other families to consider this option. It requires some patience and the ability to solve some problems. But that pales in comparison to the satisfaction and peace that comes with having your IDD family member under your own roof. There are lots of uncertainties and unknowns in life. Knowing exactly what’s going on with your loved one day-to-day, week-to-week, and month-to-month eliminates some of those unknowns.
The Family Caregiver program is working well for everyone concerned. I am grateful for the peace of mind that comes with knowing Josh is being treated well, and I am always gaining a deeper understanding of how he thinks. He brings me joy. He really is true love – like a heart walking around. I am so grateful for the availability of this program and how Evergreen helps us make it happen.
We are grateful to Michael and Josh for sharing their story and photos. If this situation might be a fit for your family member or loved one, visit our Family Caregivers page or contact Evergreen Service Providers to learn more.
[*This blog recounts the experiences of Evergreen Service Providers Family Caregiver, Michael T., and his brother, as conveyed to an interviewer.]
